| Image via my work bathroom |
Food for thought, or what I'm thinking about instead of BYU football (Published in the Springville Independent News) I had a whole column about the BYU/Utah game worked out in my head, but now, just 36 hours removed from that farce, I’m sick of talking about it. By the time this paper hits the stands on Thursday, we’ll have moved on to more pressing issues, such as: “Will BYU continue to disguise its fumbles with actual plays, or just line up its center backward and snap the ball directly to Central Florida?” So let’s chew on something else today. - Why do we feel safer behind podiums when speaking in public? I recently saw a Sunday School teacher give a lesson almost entirely from behind a waist-high hymnal cart. The funny thing was the cart was nowhere near the center of the room; there was no podium or table, so he made this cart in the corner of the room his home base. Occasionally he forayed into the shelterless expanse up front, but he always made a quick retreat to the safety of his book cart, where he could confidently address his audience from their peripheral vision. - The Spanish word for “pet” is “mascota,” which sure looks a lot like the English word “mascot.” So whenever I reach for the bottle of air freshener in our work bathroom — more often than I care to admit — it cracks me up to see the phrase “Keep out of reach of children and mascotas.” I like the idea of grouping Cosmo the Cougar and the Jazz Bear with little kids who can’t be trusted with aerosols. - Why do malls have so few maps? If I owned a mall, well, I’d fill it with nothing but Sbarro pizzerias and Sharper Image stores, for starters, but I’d also see to it that easy navigation was a priority. I’m sure they (‘they’ being the sinister mall overlords) like nothing better than to keep me wandering aimlessly like a cash-wielding zombie, but doggone it, I might go there more often if I didn’t have to walk three miles between each map kiosk. (OK, that’s an exaggeration; I will never go to the mall more often.) - Earlier this year Utah Valley University hosted a visit from former T.C. Williams High School football coach Herman Boone, who was portrayed by Denzel Washington in Disney’s “Remember the Titans.” He drew a decent crowd, but nothing compared to the piles of fans that would have showed up if Denzel himself came to town. “Oh, it’s the real Coach Boone? Not the guy that pretended to be him in front of a camera? Booooorrrring.” I’m not on a soapbox, by the way — I would totally pick Denzel over the genuine article, if I’m being honest — I’m just saying we live in a goofy world. |
