| Image via StephenKui.com |
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I replaced the heating element on our dryer this weekend. I think I’ll mount the old, rusty element on the wall as a testament to my first, and likely last, successful home repair. This feat has nothing to do with this week’s column, but what’s the point of having a column if I don’t use it for shameless bragging every now and again? So speaking of large appliances, you’ve got to admire how action movie heroes conserve their cell phone minutes. Let’s take a look at how a gruff-voiced ship captain takes a typical phone call: Captain: “This is Jenkins.”See what the Captain did there? The man clearly understands word economy. And it’s not just actors in crisis scenes — film protagonists pretty generally seem to be excused from time-consuming phone etiquette, including empty salutations and overlong goodbyes (or goodbyes at all). Wouldn’t it be great if we could play by those rules? Take the rigmarole required to call a friend for lunch: 1. Say each other’s names, even though Caller ID has already established identities (15 seconds).Only 35 seconds of that two-minute conversation were necessary. Now if Gina, the hot-shot public relations professional looking for love in all the wrong places, for instance, were to call up her sister for lunch, she’d get right to the point: Gina: “Tina, we’ve gawtta tawk.”Gina and Tina arranged their get-together in less than five seconds! Granted, in real life we’re constrained by a few necessary conversational cues, such as answering "yes," (whereas in film, hanging up the phone always signifies an answer in the affirmative) but there’s no reason we can’t trim at least 45 seconds of fat out of every phone call. In conclusion, *click* |
